Video transcript: Calming others in conflict

[Audio/Visual: Gentle music starts playing as a blue introduction screen with wording the “business.govt.nz presents” displayed in white text in the centre of the screen. The music plays throughout the video.] 
 
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[Visual: Screen changes to show the introduction presenter Kim Tay in the centre of the screen. On the bottom left-hand side of the screen the presenter’s name “Kim Tay” is displayed in white text. The text “Kim Tay” disappears from screen. On the bottom right-hand side of the screen the “business.govt.nz” logo is displayed in white text. The logo remains in place for the entire video.] 

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[Introduction presenter, Kim Tay speaks] 

In our third video Stephanie shares simple but effective skills to calm someone else down.

[Visual: Screen changes to display a blue screen with the title “Calming others in conflict" displayed in large bold white text in the centre of the screen. Beneath the title is the sub-title text “with Stephanie Rumble” and “The Wellbeing Works” in smaller white text.] 

[Visual: Screen changes to show the main presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of screen. On the bottom left-hand side of the screen the text “Stephanie Rumble” is displayed in small white text. The text “Stephanie Rumble” disappears from screen.] 

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

Learning to calm someone down is a really valuable skill not just in business, but also in life.  

Here are three ways to calm someone down without them even knowing that you're doing this. 

The first is communicating effectively.  
The second is finding another space for you and the other person to interact in, and the third is keeping your information super simple, or KISS. 

Let’s start with communicating effectively.  

[Visual: Screen zooms in to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble at a closer angle on the right-hand side of the screen.]

[Visual: The title text “Communicating effectively” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large bold white text and stays in place.]

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[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

Our communication is made up of three parts: 
 
One is verbal, the words we say, that makes up around 7% of our communication. 
 
Two, is the way we say things. For example, like our tone of voice, our pitch, our volume and our speed, all tell the other person how we feel. The way we say things makes up around 38% of our communication. It’s super important in New Zealand culture, because we’re often less direct with our words. It's really important to talk with an even rhythm, slowly, loudly enough to be heard, and with a low pitch. 
 
The third part of our communication is nonverbal communication. It’s about what we do with our body and our face. Nonverbal communication makes up around 55% of our communication. 
When you're trying to calm someone down it’s really important that you keep your face appropriate and neutral, and you keep your body language open.

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of the screen.]

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

For example, make sure you don’t look annoyed. Make sure your gestures don’t seem aggressive or rough. 

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[Visual: The text “Find another space” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Find another space” disappears from screen.]

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

The second way to calm someone else down is to find another space. Now we may find that when we are in a tense situation with a client, customer, friend or whānau member, there are other people around them who are making the situation worse. 
 
Taking that person somewhere quiet, where they can relax a little, may just defuse and calm the situation.  

[Visual: Screen zooms in to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble at a closer angle.]

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

The third way to calm another person down is to make sure the information that you are giving is really simple.

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble on the right-hand side of the screen.]

[Visual: The text “Keep It Super Simple (KISS)” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Keep It Super Simple (KISS)” disappears from screen.]

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

Think of the acronym KISS, keep it super simple. 

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of the screen.]

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

Keeping things simple is about not overloading someone’s short-term memory. On a good day, we remember about five things in our short-term memory. On a bad day we remember three, so it’s important that you don't give the other person more than three important points at a time, or they might become overwhelmed and stressed.  

[Visual: Screen zooms out to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble at a wider angle.]

[Presenter, Stephanie Rumble speaks]

So, those are three ways to calm someone: One to communicate effectively. Two to find another space. And three is to keep things super simple. 

If you’d like to learn about performing under pressure, or calming down in a conflict situation, do watch our other videos in this course. 

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[Visual: The screen changes to shows a blue background with the “Ministry for Business, Innovation and Employment” logo in white on the left-hand side of the screen. The text “Te Kāwanatanga o Aotearoa New Zealand Government” appears in large white text on the right-hand side of the screen. The video ends on this screen.] 

[Video ends]